i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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