He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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