do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
