i can't believe i had my finger in that
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
