Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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