the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
