Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he fucked my hip out of place.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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