I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
