Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
