i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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