It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
