Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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