i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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