This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
