Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
