So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
