my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he fucked my hip out of place.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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