sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
