Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
