Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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