I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
