Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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