I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
