My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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