wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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