If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
even my farts smell like vagina
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
