doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
