Soap is not a condiment
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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