those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
