she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
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You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
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He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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