Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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