Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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