What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
