We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
