And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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