Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
how does that bad decision feel?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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