I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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