Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
