question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
