I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
