Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize