I swear she didn't look like that last week.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
