The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
handjob tips. give me some.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
