party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
