Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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