I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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