Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
