omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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