scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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