no. you can't hotbox the world.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
