Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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