Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
