In the future we'll all be gay
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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