It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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