I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
