Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
