That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
