I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
