The maid of honor just puked.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
