plz talk dirty to me
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
