you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
