I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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