I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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