Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
