So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
